At last some good news

Victoria Beckham is leaving the European landmass.

A quarter of a billion dollars for an aging, non-dribbling winger to sign for a team who get lower gates than Stoke City.

Reluctantly, I'm forced to concede that this is probably a plot by space alien-vampires. Soon the population of Greater Los Angeles will be reborn as blank-eyed, slavering night-dwellers who live only for the sweet taste of narcissism and human blood.

Well, those that aren't like that already.