Monday, March 20, 2006

To the Editor of the Pebble Lake Review

Dear Ms Auchter

My knowledge is uncertaine in these times, and I truly know not whether thine appelatione is Mrs or Miss; and thus have I settled on Ms, though in truth I find it unseemlye and strange, as it seemeth to lack a vowel for proper pronunciatione.

I pray thou would consider my poem, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, for publicatione in thine esteemed journal, the Pebble Lake Review. My poem is a strange, forsaken tale, whereby a mariner slays with an arrow an albatross, a veritable pious bird of good omen. The mariner thereby is doomed by a curse to walk the Earthe as a phantasm, encountering such ungodly beings as a Spectre-Woman and her Death-mate before his final redemptione. He learns finally to teach, by his own example, love and reverence to all things that God made and loveth.

Yours hopefullye

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Dear Samuel

Sounds like some shit about vampires to me. Bet it rhymes as well. Fuck off.

A Auchter, Editor

(Carter's Little Pill)