I have a confession to make
I don't know how to drive.
There, I've said it. I can't drive.
What's worse, I can no longer rely on at-least-I'm-not-destroying-the-planet smugness to get me through any those tricky "what are you, some sort of freak?" social situations, as I've started taking lessons. Not only am I a bad driver, but now I'm a failed ecologist as well.
For the record, here is a complete list of the other things I probably should have tried but haven't.
1) Ice skating
2) Going to the opera
3) Smoking a cigarette
4) Taking illegal narcotics
5) Calling Tony Blair a lying arsewipe while fingering the "wanker" sign in his face
There, I've said it. I can't drive.
What's worse, I can no longer rely on at-least-I'm-not-destroying-the-planet smugness to get me through any those tricky "what are you, some sort of freak?" social situations, as I've started taking lessons. Not only am I a bad driver, but now I'm a failed ecologist as well.
For the record, here is a complete list of the other things I probably should have tried but haven't.
1) Ice skating
2) Going to the opera
3) Smoking a cigarette
4) Taking illegal narcotics
5) Calling Tony Blair a lying arsewipe while fingering the "wanker" sign in his face
posted by Disintegrating Clone at 12:11 pm
4 Comments:
Well I don't know how to drive either, but I've done two of the other things on your list. Possibly three.
How did Tony take it?
You can safely get through life without ice skating. It's not that big a deal.
Smoking a cigarette is a pretty good thing, but of course there's the danger of addiction. I mean, your first cigarette you probably won't enjoy, so it'll take a few to get the hang of it. And then, when you like it, it'll be easy to get into the habit. So, you're probably better off without.
Illegal narcotics can be great fun if you're about 17-21 years old, but after that I'd have to say you're better off without. Pot is pretty mild and safe, but everything else will just mess with your head too much to be fun.
So sayeth I.
I don't know how to drive either.
But you do deserve to iceskate.
I used to play hockey; lost one of my front teeth that way...
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